Howdy! First, I need to apologize (sort of) for my absence. I was pretty consistent with my first week of blogging, but then I just fell off the wagon. I have figured out that I really need to aim for posting something about 4 times a week. I think that's a healthy compromise for me. When you're not concise (which I'm not), this turns into a pretty lengthy time commitment. So, I'm looking for balance. I suck at this. Ha!
Anyway, my week has been pretty hectic after Monday. Do you know what I realized? I realized (as best I can tell from my research) that my business taxes are due March 15. Whoops. It never occurred to me that they'd be due any sooner than normal, but I guess they are. I pretty much spent all afternoon Tuesday & Wednesday dealing with that. Combing through bank statements, visiting with an accountant, trying to do simple math... my brain hurts. I so was not blessed with a math mind. Ugh. Annnd, they're still not done. Ay yi yi.
All that to say, though, I've done pretty well with my healthy eating habits even though I haven't been sharing at all. I've still been rockin' out my frittata every morning for breakfast, and, believe it or not, I haven't yet gotten tired of it. Four days in a row, and I find myself having to talk myself out of eating another piece for lunch.
I guess I should clarify, though. What I should say is that I've done pretty well with making healthy choices about what actually goes IN my mouth. I have not been good, though, about always making sure to eat. I mean, bad stuff isn't going in, but I also know it's not healthy to just skip a meal. And, honestly, I'm wondering who the heck I am anymore anyway?? Girl does NOT skip meals. I like food. So, if I'm being introspective and actually taking a moment to think, I'm wondering if I'm skipping meals because I don't want to go through the hassle of preparing something healthy? I really don't know the answer to that, but it's definitely a possibility. Even if you can convince yourself to only eat healthy things, I guess there are other struggles that come with this journey. I guess I'd just rather not eat than spend 20 minutes prepping for lunch? I don't know.
Supper is a different story, though. By the time my hard working journeyman lineman hubby gets home, he's ready to eat... or, at least talk about what we're eating. He wasn't that way before he started trying to eat healthier, too. He wasn't that way before he gave up his Dr. Pepper and king sized Reese's Peanut Butter Cups for breakfast. He wasn't that way before he started taking his lunch to work every day. When he was eating ALL THE SUGAR for breakfast and getting Mexican food or barbecue or whatever for lunch, he'd come home and never think about supper. Ever. He did not need to eat. It was a frustrating situation for me.
And, that brings me to a little flaw that I have... a little insecurity. I might as well share it with y'all because this journey isn't black and white. It is not just about choosing the right foods. It's mental and emotional and a whole slew of other things. So, I'll just get real vulnerable here and show you my crazy.
Aaron has always had great genetics. He's always been pretty slim and trim. He does have a physically demanding job, yes, but after finding out what he was eating day to day... my word. If I did that, I'd be as big as a house! I, however, can fluctuate with my weight. Y'all, over the past 12 years, I've had everything from size 0s to size 14s in my closet. Right now, I'm hovering around the size 8 - 10s. I'm 5'2". While Aaron adores me no matter what and very regularly vocalizes his adoration for me, it still sucks to be bigger than your husband. At least for me it does. And, that, my friends, is the reality.
Us as kids. <3
So, before I knew what he was eating at work all day long, he'd get home and seriously never mention anything about dinner. Never. If I didn't say something, he'd go to bed without a thought about it. It's so abnormal. Just... foreign to me. I could be so, so starving. Hangry. Feeling like I absolutely might just perish. (I know... I'm dramatic.) But, I'd have to give myself a pep talk to work up enough courage to bring up dinner. Seriously. Is this nuts or what??? And, it wasn't because he acted exacerbated when I did bring it up. It's not because he expressed annoyance. It took me an hour (from the time I got hungry) to bring up supper because I felt like a fatass. I was sure, because he never struggles with his weight and because he didn't care to eat dinner, that when I brought up supper, he just MUST be looking at me thinking to himself, "girl, you don't need to eat." I was just sure of it.
Now, I seriously cannot emphasize enough how sweet he is to me, so please don't think he ever does or says anything that has made me feel this way. Because he hasn't. It's just me being plain ol' crazy. Surely some of y'all can relate? It's self imposed insecurities. And, if you tell me you have none, I wouldn't believe you. You may not have as many as the next guy or gal, but we all have our quirks. And, if you're an over thinker and over worrier like me, you probably have more than your fair share right along with this ol' gal.
But, anyway, I digress. When Aaron & I had that talk a couple weeks ago about all the things he was eating during the work day, it absolutely was a game changer for me. It wasn't just the high fructose breakfast he was eating or the greasy lunches. His work stocks ice cream, candy bars, nuts, fruit, protein bars, crackers, juices, milk, Gatorade, etc., in their office free for the taking. So, he was also eating a couple little cups of ice cream a day plus whatever else suited his fancy. No wonder the guy had no desire to eat dinner. Sheesh. It had nothing to do with me and my ever growing ass. Nothing. So, why, why, why did I let that thought creep into my mind and take hold of my confidence for so long? I'm telling you... I feel crazy even admitting this. I committed to transparency during this month, though, with what I eat, how I feel, what affects my choices, etc. This is all part of it. Confronting my insecurities is a part of my "healthier me" journey.
I guess we liked The Doors. ;)
I don't even how I got there. I was just trying to tell y'all about my dinner. Ha! But, before I move on to that, I want to just share my husband's victories with y'all! He is doing so, so good. He's doing much better than me. Every morning, he wakes up early (while I'm still sleeping) and packs his frittata and then his lunch full of fruits & veggies. He stopped putting spoonfuls of sugar in his coffee. He drinks it black now. He hasn't had a soda in a couple weeks, and he even turned down unsweet tea when I asked him if he'd like me to pick some up at the store. It's all water for that guy, and that is by his choosing. He's given up the candy bars. He certainly does have a sweet tooth, so I got him some of the M70 Boss premium chocolates. This is a pretty dark chocolate, and I know that has a lot of health benefits. Plus, it's just a cool company with actual standards. But, anyhow, he takes a few of those with him each day, too, and when he gets a hankerin' for something sweet, he'll just have one or two of those. The bitterness of the dark chocolate seems to curb his cravings faster than a Reese's would. So, yeah, I'm just so proud of him and his resolve.
On to supper, though. My parents invited us and my sister's family over tonight for dinner. My parents are doing a Whole30 right now. Score! So, you're telling me I can go to someone else's house and still eat healthy? Heck yes! On the menu? Grilled chicken, sautéed onions & fennel, baked potatoes & sweet potatoes, fresh greens, avocado, tomato, and peppers. Basically, you could stuff a potato or make a loaded salad... whichever your little heart desires. I'm thinking my mom did this on purpose. I'm sure she learned over all those years raising us kids that giving us choices works wonders. This is probably how she got me to cooperate at all as a child. Right? I mean... that's what I do with my kids. I give them a couple choices both of which are perfectly okay with me. They think they're in control, but really I'm secretly guiding them into what I want them to do. Bwahahaha! It's a win-win. (I really hope my kids don't read this.)
Anyway, I'm indecisive, so I loaded up a salad AND had a baked sweet potato with clarified butter. Yum! Crazy thing is, I just discovered how good a baked sweet potato was about a month ago... at my parent's house. (Yeah, don't ask... I don't know how it's possible to go 38 years without realizing sweet potatoes are pretty badass either.)
All that to say, it was super delicious, hit the spot, and took some pressure off me for the evening trying to decide what's for dinner. :) Is it obvious I enjoyed it?
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